ADD? What ADD?
I have fallen back into the rut. I am on my meds, everything is relatively OK, and life is busy so I drop the self-coaching and self-improvement (which I still really need) and continue to coast through life.
I stop posting here, reading other ADD blogs, and basically withdraw. Perhaps its partly denial — still.
I’ve been back on Concerta for almost 8 months. I know it is still effective but, as I’ve written before, it is not a wonder drug. I need to work on my life skills and that’s probably why I’m back on this blog. My sub-conscious knows, too.
Back to self-coaching this week.
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Weeds, Plugs and ADHD | Jeff's ADD Mind said this on June 22, 2011 at 1:56 pm |
Not to brag, but I’ve added another post to the ongoing masterwork some call my blog, others call dead internet space, and I call my ARTIHADD (Automated Reminder That I Have ADD). My posts are almost like the marks a hiker leaves in a tree trunk. When I take the time to post on the blog, I know how lost I’ve been since the previous mark is six months old. I feel like Gilligan striking out to leave the island, getting lost, finding land, and discovering it’s the same island, end of episode, start of reruns.
Back then three years was enough to qualify a series for syndication. Now it’s five years. I wonder what fifty years of ADD gets me?
I’ve recently switched from conerta to strattera, on the theory that one might be less hazardous to my diseased heart than the other. I think it’s starting to kick in; I still haven’t reached the saturation level where the drug fills my body like wine in a keg.
I know what you mean about withdrawing from the ADD blogs, books, therapies, for long stretches. Not because I’m cured, but from ennui, discouragement, anger — spin the Emotion Wheel and wherever it stops will likely be enough to stagger my progress.
Nicely written, Mark.
And, just to put a point on my post, I never did get back to the self-coaching.
Since my post, though, I’ve started a new job and that has to be the best therapy-of-sorts there is. It’s so exciting and stimulating! Too bad the excitement is so short lived.
You can keep the excitement going if you treat each day as a losing hand in strip poker. Keep everyone guessing.
So I’m guessing your new job is one you’re qualified for; otherwise, if it were me, the excitement I’d feel would be gut-wrenching anxiety. On occasion, I feel that way even WHEN I’m qualified.
Strattera update: didn’t work. Now I’m waiting to try Vyvance. Named after the I Love Lucy character Vivian Vance; she was the sensible one who provided a measure of moderation and good sense to Lucy’s uncontrolled ADD.